Club Friday Q&A: Ambreen Butt-Hussain
By Stacy Lee Kong
Image: Martika Gregory
Alina Butt isn’t teacher-turned-children’s book author Ambreen Butt-Hussain—but she’s pretty close. Tthe main character in Butt-Hussain’s first book, The Unlovable Alina Butt, Alina’s adventures (and misadventures) in the book are very inspired by Butt-Hussain’s own experiences of moving to a new country and struggling to fit in as an “awkward, big-nosed, nerdy Pakistani girl with a funny last name.” I got a chance to read an advance copy of the book earlier this year and while my immigrant experience was pretty different, there was a lot to relate to. In this week’s Club Friday Q&A, Butt-Hussain and I chat about explaining the semi in semi-autobiographical to your family, the process of getting published as a literary newbie and why she wanted to write a story about an immigrant kid who learns to love herself.
Where you got the initial idea for The Unlovable Alina Butt?
The initial idea came from my own childhood. It's strange to say, but I think I always knew that if I were to write a book, I would start it from that lineup incident in the very first chapter, where Alina is trying to lie about her last name but she gets caught. I had been through that so many times in my own life. My last name growing up was also Butt and I would try to hide it. I just always knew I wanted to talk about that, and about growing up feeling different, and the journey of trying so hard to find your place or trying to fit in. So yeah, childhood was the inspiration.
But I think what actually got me to sit down and open up a doc and begin the process was going through a really hard time in my life. I started doing this as more of an outlet, and it ended up just being kind of magical for me because it brought so much positivity and hope back into my life. I would look forward to writing at the end of the day. This was a coping mechanism in a way.
Aside from the lineup story, how many of your own life experiences are in Alina’s story?
Alina’s story is very close to my heart because it is closely inspired by my own childhood. But that being said, it’s definitely not exactly the same. I would say it’s maybe 60% inspired by my childhood and 40% fictionalized. There are lots of similarities in the characters, like my family members, and in the small details. For example, I also grew up in Walsall, England, and I also lived on top of a fruit and vegetable shop that my dad owned. Even some of the problems that the family faces are similar. There’s an incident that Alina’s mom has where she faces racism at the scene of a car accident; my family went through things like that as well, and I used them as inspiration for the book.
But of course, there's exaggeration to make it more interesting for the reader. I definitely had those same feelings as Alina around finding it hard to fit in, but I would say, the biggest difference is I think I wasn't as embarrassed about my personality or my family. Her feelings are a more heightened version of whatever I was feeling as a kid.
Was it awkward for your family to read the book, especially the parts where you amped up those situations for the narrative? Were they like, ‘Is that how you actually felt?!’
100% yes. I'm glad you asked me this question because I've had to answer this for any of my family members who have read the book! They’re always like, ‘What! We didn't know you felt this, or that you felt left out of things.’ I have to explain that I’m exaggerating certain things. I definitely felt it to some degree, but you have to magnify things a little bit to give it that oomph factor. So yes, I do have to clarify things for my family whenever they read the book, like, ‘This is real, this is not.’
Can you tell me a little bit about the process of how the book came about? Did you already have a publisher when you started writing?
When I started writing, I had never written professionally. I’ve written in a journal since I was eight years old, but I never tried to write a book. I just started writing for fun. My first draft was just word vomit. Like, it was just my feelings, my thoughts; everything was flowing out of me. I had so much fun doing that.
It was only after I finished my first draft that I started thinking about it really seriously. I had my husband read the first chapter, and he was like, ‘Oh, this is actually pretty good.’ So then I started looking into how to get it published. And all of that was quite a long process. Just finding an agent took me about a year. It took him a short period of time to find a publisher, which was amazing, but then after that, the editing process was also quite long. I would say overall, from me finishing writing my first draft to getting it published, it took two years.
I thought it was really interesting that the book is set in the early 2000s. Why did you decide to do that?
I went back and forth about this decision quite a bit. I was like, do I set it in the present day because it'll be more relatable for kids? Or do I set it in the past because it speaks more closely to me? I ended up going with the year 2001 because I wanted the story to be a close reflection of my own experience. And also, I'm a teacher and the students that I was teaching at the time—I think it was a grade seven class—had such a strong interest in the 1990s and 2000s. They were so interested in the fashion of that time, the trends, and even just the simplicity of life without social media. I realized that because we had a community circle, which is where they sit in a circle, I ask them a question and they all give their thoughts and feelings about it. So, I asked them what year they would want to live in if they could choose the past or the future, and surprisingly, a lot of them answered the 2000s… which made me feel really old! But I also thought it was really cool that they were so interested in that time period. I was like, why not find a way to kind of transport them there through the book and have them learn more about it? So that's how I made my final decision about that.
That’s so interesting, because one of the things I wanted to ask you about was how your teaching experience might have shaped the way you approached the story. Other than thinking about making it relatable for today's kids, was there anything else about your teaching experience that played into your creative process?
I don't think I ever talked to my kids about the writing. I think I told them when it was done, but I was very private about it when I was writing. But I definitely used my experiences as inspiration. Like, I looked at students’ mannerisms or the way they interacted with each other or the problems that they faced in everyday life to make my story and my characters more relatable.
I moved to Canada from Trinidad when I was four, so our immigrant experiences are very different. But there was a lot in the book that I found so relatable, from how close the siblings are, to the frustration of trying to figure out where you fit in to learning to see your parents as humans, which I think sometimes happens earlier for immigrant kids than their peers because we’re often helping them navigate a new culture. There wasn't a language barrier for me, but I do remember realizing at one point that I understood things about Canadian culture in a way that my parents just didn’t. Why was it important for you to explore these themes?
Firstly, I’m glad that you were able to relate to some of the experiences in the book. And like you said, people may not be able to relate to every single thing, because everyone's experience is so unique. Even their immigration experiences are so unique, but I think everyone, even people who are not immigrants, would be able to relate to one of the themes that you mentioned.
When you move around so much, I feel like you tend to become more attached to your family. Or at least, that was true in my case. Through all the change, your siblings, your parents, whoever you moved to the new place with, are your only constant. Of course, we go through problems as any family does, but I think that you do create a special bond because you've gone through something so significant and challenging together, and for me, it was really important to highlight that. A lot of people realize that when they're a bit older, but I wanted children to be able to read about it, and hopefully begin to cherish that and begin to see that they do have quite a special thing there, and one they will cherish as they go through life. And I wanted kids to see their parents as real people, because that's also something I think we sometimes miss out on as we're growing up.
When I think back to my parents immigrating, I realize that they were the same age as I am right now. And I still feel like a kid sometimes, so I can't believe that they did all that at that age. I was thinking about how they must have been having their own struggles and problems, and I wanted to shed light on that as well. Hopefully, kids will see their parents as real people with their own lives. And definitely balancing the two cultures. That was important for me to highlight as a theme, because growing up, I never felt that this was a common problem that others had; I felt like I was the only one who was facing this issue, so I really wanted to provide an honest and very authentic portrayal of a Muslim and Pakistani family and the struggles that the kids sometimes face. So whether that's having to tell someone that you only eat halal food or having to wear tights under your skirt, little things like that, I wanted to put them out there so kids see that other people also go through this stuff, and that's okay. You can still learn to love yourself and your identity.
What do you hope kids will get out of this book?
I think the main message I would want my readers to get is that they're not alone. I think a lot of us go through moments in life where we find it really hard to love ourselves, and I hope that Alina's story helps my readers realize that whatever makes them different is really special. We need to learn to cherish not just our strengths, but also things that we think are our weaknesses, flaws or our little quirks. I think in this book, Alina is really hard on herself. She engages in a lot of negative self-talk before she learns to love herself, as I think we all do. We are really hard on ourselves. So, I hope it helps inspire people to treat themselves with more kindness.
What is next for you on the writing front?
I'm currently working on the second part of Alina’s story. It's a continuation of the Butt family's journey with more funny situations and adventures. There's some new characters and relationships, and of course Alina finds herself in a big problem. I can't wait to add final touches to that and see what people think of it.
Is there anything that you want us to talk about that I didn't ask about?
There's just one thing I wanted to say: for whoever reads this, just a little message that representation matters and your story matters. I think when you constantly find yourself being portrayed in a negative light in various forms of media, whether it's TV or the news, it's easy to feel unlovable. So, it was very important for me to broaden representation for South Asians and Muslims and immigrants, and to help my readers see themselves as lovable. Because if people do feel unlovable, many times, it's because others don't fully know them yet. So I hope that this book inspires people to tell their stories, and not be afraid to put themselves out there. I never thought I would have my book out in the world or that I'd get the chance to speak about my story—I just wrote this for fun. So I also hope that inspires people to dream big and help them realize that their words matter and they should put them out there.
The Unlovable Alina Butt is out on May 16, 2023. Pre-order a copy on Amazon or through Orca Books.
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